I wouldn't sail this ship if I were you
1. Socks that have been used as sleeping bags for adorable baby animals; particularly where one only finds out about this happenstance by plunging one’s toes into adorable baby animal shit.
2. Socks to be worn over other socks in a recursive manner, for when the weather is particularly cold and/or when one wishes to have spherical feet.
3. Socks that look like cocks, available only in larger sizes, for the less secure gentleman who really, really wishes people to be aware of what they say about people with large feet.
4. Socks which are marked out as limited-use by slogans such as 18 Today, or Happy New Year!, or suchlike, but which are nevertheless worn for general use.
5. Socks full of fabulous treasures, hung out in the mountains for dragons on the eve of the migration season. One may become amazingly rich or amazingly dead in the mountains on such nights.
6. Socks woven out of pasta. Typically capellini, although spaghetti can also be used. The frugal-minded may therefore either eat or wear them, depending on their current need. One may also wear them to futurist conventions, where I am sure they would cause a stir; or to go bathing in tomato sauce, where they would merely be moderately ridiculous.
7. Socks that will in fact annihilate in a deadly burst of energy if paired with a matching sock, and must therefore always be worn odd.