I wouldn't sail this ship if I were you
1. Castle in the clouds, location variable. Seemed like a good idea at the time but actually you can’t land a plane on it and it’s a bit high up for a helicopter so getting to the shops is a nightmare. Great for things that can fly and who also like damp fog in their rooms in the morning. Non-steerable. Viewings by appointment, we reserve the right to cancel if the property is drifting near an airport or through a thunderstorm at the scheduled time.
2. Castle cursed with a hundred years of sleep by an evil enchantress. Enchantress was not sure where to apply the spell and ended up casting it at the front door and running away, so if you use another door to go in you are fine. Comes with large pile of sleeping delivery professionals in the front hall. By agreement with the Society for Mystical Post, purchasers will need to turn sleepers regularly to prevent pressure sores.
3. Castle on little legs up in the foothills of the Lost Mountains, uninhabited since shortly after its original enchantment when it became sentient. Castle is now ticklish but most problem areas have been identified and fenced off. Purchaser will need to be resistant to digestive juices to use the main hallway. Purchaser will also need to be able to catch the castle, and to trim its toenails.
4. Floating castle on the South Pole of Jupiter. Amazing views. Usually has oxygen. Would suit responsible, radiation-resistant professional who likes amazing views.
5. Castle on the Western borders of Faerie, on the shores of the nether sea. Built by elves. Elves, who may have been a bit more into dancing and singing and draping themselves over furniture than building, got bored half-way through and hired a dodgy wizard to magic the rest up. Hence most of the towers are illusory and in hot weather they flicker and someone will have to undrape themselves and go and bang on the ceiling to get them to come back.
6. Castle accidentally built on tail of hibernating dragon. One initially careless, now exceedingly careful owner. Must sell before Spring.
7. Charming, bijou basement castle-ette. Basically like a full castle but without the above-ground parts. Would suit open-minded torture professionals, minor abominations and aspiring villains. Newly installed bathroom suite. Dogs welcome.
