I wouldn't sail this ship if I were you
1. Netbasketfootsportsball. A spirited but ultimately rather confusing attempt to merge all the different things that people do with balls together. It is rarely played anymore, but sometimes people accidentally do a few rounds when knocking balls around in a multi-sport environment. If you end up dangling by your foot from some kind of hoop while someone else is fervently apologising for elbowing a ball into your face, you have probably been playing netbasketfootsportball. Interestingly, a recent revival movement has been sparked by the claim that the game’s problems could all be solved by introducing some tennis elements to the mix.
2. Tossing the ball over the fence and then having to go and ask for it back. You may think of it as an idle childhood game, but in fact there is an international ball fence toss league who meet once every five years in Tashkent. The top level game combines elements of physical skill (getting the ball over the expert level fence in the first place) with verbal dexterity (making the argument to get it back from the league’s ferocious selection of professional next door neighbours).
3. Mouseball. The closest thing that mice have to an extreme sport, mouseball is played in the summer with the contents of a single peapod, the game being deemed over when all the peas have been won. Two teams of mice assemble at either end of a garden, while the mouse referee places a pea in the middle. At the referee’s signal, both teams race for the pea and attempt to get it to their end of the garden, frequently biting each other in their energetic attempts to get control. A bonus of five peas is deemed won if the active pea is inserted under the chin of a sleeping cat.
4. Giant ball marbles. Giant ball marbles has similar rules to conventional marbles, except that the balls used must be the largest ball of their kind in the world. Thus one could bring the world’s largest ball of rubber bands to the giant ball marbles arena, for example, and pit it against the world’s largest hairball. Games of giant ball marbles are sadly rare, due to the effort and expense involved in transporting large balls to the main arena, a field in central Kansas.
5. Four-dimensional basketball. You’re never going to be able to play this, but after the aliens land you might occasionally observe a three-dimensional slice through a game being played. The best place to view is in the same plane as the basket sphere of one team or another - see if you can get your alien hosts to put you here or orient the pitch so that you are here naturally. Then you will at least be able to tell how many baskets have been scored. By one team, at least. Make sure your hosts put you back afterwards or you may find yourself perpetually dislocated.
6. Ball. Perhaps the purest ball game, ball consists of placing a single, perfectly round ball in an open space and contemplating it for a while. There is no set game length. Touching the ball after the initial set-down is grounds for immediate sending-off.
