I wouldn't sail this ship if I were you
1. The giant, indestructible umbrellas of children’s literature, usable as helicopters and boats and sails, always taking you somewhere exciting and absolute proof against gentle rain
2. Umbrellas with holes in as a cunning assassination strategy against foes who are water-soluble
3. Those umbrellas that are actually giant robotic craneflies in disguise, waiting for the windy autumn of their dreams so that they can fold back their wings, stretch their legs and leap from the umbrella stand to bat up against the windows and out of the house
4. Cocktail umbrellas that completely failed to keep your margarita dry in an unsuspecting tropical storm
5. Umbrellas living in the graveyard of lost umbrellas, those which were turned inside-out by the wind and perched on the lip of a damp bin, but have been rescued by something with clacking claws in the dead of night and taken to a creaking, scraping sanctuary somewhere underground
6. Umbrellas against rains of frogs, having on their upper surface a large pool for safe spalshdown and an escape valve for when one is passing a pond
7. Umbrellas for protection against things other than rain, sun, wind or frogs; for example: unwanted acquaintances, embarrassment, bullets or melancholy
