Listing to Port

1. Canaries in coal mines. Interestingly, although canaries in coal mines did serve as a warning of a problem in the mine, their presence was often unrelated to the release of carbon monoxide. Miners in the Victorian era often strayed into strata containing so-called ‘bird stones’ - large dark blue or purple slabs with the unfortunate property of slowly transforming the humans who came into contact with them into birds. Therefore the appearance of canaries in coal mines indicated that a bird stone had been uncovered, necessitating the cessation of all operations until the stone had been found and removed. In later years, mines instituted strict daily height checks and feather inspections to catch the problem at an earlier stage.
2. The time when a wren learned of a deadly peril to the King of All Cats. Being a gentle and naive soul, the wren risked its life to inform the King of the danger. Unfortunately, cats have an extreme aversion to anyone else knowing that they do not have everything under control. Although the King of All Cats is largely a ceremonial role, the insinuation their King might have been in trouble was taken as a grave embarrassment to the entire species - the equivalent of being seen to fall off a wall, miss a short jump or get their head stuck in a box. Since this time, cats have taken an especial pleasure in killing and eating birds.
3. The night before the Great Fire of Rome, five eagles appeared in the Circus Maximus; bystanders claimed that they appeared to be having an intense discussion, although other observers claimed that they were fighting. In any case it seems likely that the eagles had travelled backwards through time in the hope of sending some kind of warning to Rome. One theory is that they were the last remaining standards of the Roman Legions from a time when the Empire was well-decayed, brought to life by some rough magic and sent back through the history of Rome to try and avert major disasters in the hope of producing a more favourable historical outcome. Sadly, the eagles were chased off by some civic-minded shopkeepers before they could finish their plan, which seems to have been shitting out a message in inexpert Latin onto the stadium floor.
4. I have also heard tell that the hoopoes of Ashgabat can predict ill-fortune; although, the details of this having been highly classified during the Soviet era, it is difficult and potentially dangerous to try and find out more.
5. That time, shortly to come, when you woke up and the sky was full of birds, streaming from the East, and they came all day; millions of birds, as if the world out there was emptying out. The next morning they were still coming. The last few ragged fringes of the cloud passed over at noon, some of them raining down to land, squawking and dying, across the fields. You tried posting about it, but for some reason nothing would post properly. There was some dead celebrity and a political scandal on the news. Eventually a bored contractor came by in a van and took the dead birds away.