I wouldn't sail this ship if I were you
1. When you see a single magpie, the size of a double-decker bus, descend from a storm-dark sky above Manhattan to peck shiny stuff off the top of skyscrapers.
2. When a black cat crosses your path as you are trying to pick your way through a minefield.
3. When you break a mirror over the head of someone who was previously a good friend of yours.
4. When the lift is heading for the thirteenth floor, but the building only has ten floors and the lift is not very aerodynamic.
5. When you open an umbrella indoors because it is raining indoors because you no longer have a roof.
6. When you are eating with giant metal chopsticks during a thunderstorm and you leave them sticking upwards in the bowl.
7. When you say ‘Macbeth’ in a theatre to a genie who has just asked you which play you would like them to make your life resemble more closely.
8. When you walk under a ladder which is being used by a loose coalition of supervillains to climb into the sky and put out the sun.
