I wouldn't sail this ship if I were you
1. If you think you are having a bad day, spare a thought for the howling void which has been trying to escape from under London for more than a thousand years. No sooner does it chip a hole in the city’s fragile surface then a group of contractors with strict instructions not to look into any potholes comes along and fills up the hole with concrete. The fight against the emergence of the void is carried out by a secret division of the Home Office, often under the guise of emergency sewer works.
2. The European Society for the Kind Treatment of Voids tells the story of a void which was left tied up outside in a thunderstorm by a careless collector of holes and hollows. Its subsequent howls were heard by the entire street, which ever thereafter had a feeling of dull-eyed terror about it. The void could only be persuaded to stop howling by bringing an abyss outside for it to stare into. Subsequently, the abyss and the void eloped to Las Vegas, where they were married by Elvis Presley, who was exclusively raised from the dead for the duration of the horrifying yet delightful ceremony.
3. Howling ‘Howling Void’ Void, a howling void which controversially reached number 94 on the US pop charts in 1974 with the song 'Howling Void’, a dark wail of agony and nihilism compared by some to the sound of a void that is howling.
4. An interesting legal situation arose in India in 1902 in which a contract between a Mr. M. Singh and a Mr. R. R. Pant was accidentally declared null and howling void rather than simply null and void. This error created an area of contract law so suffused with existential terror that for over thirty years lawyers were only permitted to study it after a period of rigorous meditation on all that is good in the world.
5. More prosaically, a small void that had come up to Earth to experience the magic of Christmas carelessly stubbed its toe on the Sydney Opera House, letting out a howl that drove all the fish from Sydney harbour for a period of approximately three weeks. The displaced fish subsequently wrote a book about their experiences, but were never able to successfully publish it due to the language barrier and the unfortunate tendency of books to dissolve into mush on extended contact with seawater.
