I wouldn't sail this ship if I were you
1. 2017 is about guessing. President Trump guessing at what his voters might like, and doing that. Trump’s voters guessing at what he might like, and doing that. The rest of the world guessing what the fuck is going to happen next. It is basically like the world’s shittest game of paper telephone.
2. Most of the shit that is due to hit the fan in 2017 hits the fan at relatively low speed, providing only a surprisingly light sprinkling of turd droplets. Just as we are about to heave a collective sigh of relief, some other unexpected large jobbie (for example: recession in China leading to unrest; terrorist incident involving Pakistan’s nuclear arsenal; global pandemic; etc.) plunges towards the fan, leaving everyone well-splattered. I like to call this the brown swan scenario.
3. 2017 is a farce, involving a stream of increasingly non-coherent reasons as to why Brexit has not yet been triggered; a harrassed President Trump who has decided he doesn’t like being president doing his best to get impeached and getting excused at every turn; and widespread infestations of sinister clowns.
4. A brief and efficient shitshow. Literally brief, as the survivors eventually declare March 8th the first day of the new calendar.
5. Some unexpectedly great thing happens (major innovation in energy or medicine; confirmed discovery of intelligent extraterrestrial life; the rise of some major new arts idiom) which makes humanity sit back and think a little. Then someone makes porn of the new thing. Then someone uses it to justify their frankly unjustifiable political agenda. Then we proceed as in one of the other scenarios.
6. It turns out someone else gets the magic lamp in 2017, although they have to forcibly prise Nigel Farage’s fingers off the spout first. The genie’s first words are ‘Oh, thank fuck.’
