Listing to Port

1. A single rose of each conceivable type: I am administering a scientific test to see if you are allergic to roses. Please report any itching, redness or shortness of breath in the attached form.
2. Roystonea Palaea, Palaeoraphe Dominica and Osmunda Wehrii: I can travel in time. Would you like to come with me to the late Miocene?
3. A large bouquet of long grass, containing a single sparkly ball: I know we could, but let’s not.
4. Sprouted acorns from the grassy knoll behind a screen of shivering ferns: Meet me in the obvious place at dawn where I will discourse at length upon the secrets of the Universe.
5. Cow parsley and forget-me-nots (inverted): It’s OK to not text quite so often, you know.
6. Lambs’ ears, bullrushes and titan arum: Dear neighbour, I would appreciate it if you stopped the next karaoke session sometime before dawn, please thanks.
7. Nettles, giant hogweed and lilies: Please stop sending me pictures of your penis.

1. It looks like they may have used a password that isn’t easily guessable.
2. I’ve written some code to do that. *pause* It looks like it has a bug in it. Let me have a go at debugging it and get back to you.
3. Here is a simulation of this situation. All we need to do now is get data to calibrate it, I estimate about six months of experiments and $100k should be enough to pin the parameters down.
4. Here is a simulation of this situation I came up with at great speed in our time-critical mission. In order to do this, I downloaded some random code off the interwebs and everything is approximated by constant-density spheres moving in a vacuum. The answers are probably OK to a plus or minus 200% level.
5. Of course I can write some code to do that. It will take about a month.
6. These systems are actually not compatible at all so we cannot interface them.