Listing to Port

I wouldn't sail this ship if I were you
Posts tagged confidence

Things that give you confidence

Being fabulous, the knowledge that you are wearing fantastic underwear, having received news from the future that you will succeed in your endeavour, good luck messages written on the belly in ballpoint pen and hidden under a sharp suit, chance alignments of the stars, having a secret identity as a supervillain that humanity is laughably far away from discovering, drugs and alcohol, incantations, comforting lies, walking like a fucking dinosaur when no-one is looking, having a vast and shadowy book cave under your house, not giving a shit about the outcome, being able to visualise intimidating people with their bottoms out, various bodily grooming products containing as an ingredient the distilled confidence of sociopaths who are kept in a sociopath farm and have their egos milked daily by patent complimentary engines, the ability to summon trees to your aid, words of comfort from someone you love, knowing everything, lucky trinkets, having two wishes left, the ability to destroy the world in fire, being told that you’ve got this by someone who should know, previous success, coincidence, having an amazing secret.

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