Listing to Port

1. Due to inflation, the financial outlay involved in purchasing the Thing will seem ridiculously tiny when you look back on it a few decades hence.
2. That Thing will bring you joy, which surely only the greyest and most solemn bureaucratic ranks would put a monetary value on.
3. That Thing looks a little sad where it is and you could probably give it a better life.
4. You probably will eventually so why not do it now?
5. It’s not every day that a Thing comes up for sale. If you don’t get that Thing now then you may never get the chance again.
6. Just look at that Thing’s little tentacle finger bits, aren’t they adorable?
7. Also by purchasing that Thing you may just be saving the casts of the 1982 and 2011 The Thing movies from a terrible fate.

1. I am trying to find the sea, and this is the direction that it is probably closest

2. I have always believed that when one is up shit creek without a paddle, one should keep digging

3. I am building a grotto for my hermit to live in

4. I am a dog

5. I am putting in the first foundations for a mile-high skyscraper in the shape of an inverted pyramid, it will be named The Colossus, could you move please, you’re standing where the lift shafts need to go

6. After putting all salient details into my Life Simulator, the result with optimal outcome on a net lifetime income basis involves digging here

7. This is where the end of the rainbow touched down, as you may observe from the sheen on the surface of these puddles

8. I said that I was literally digging it, so I thought I had better start

9. I am training for the Olympic digging event

10. Are we all not digging, really, in an existential sense?