I wouldn't sail this ship if I were you
1. As a child he always wanted to eat a whole cake. But it was never allowed. He planned the supreme act of rebellion: a cake a metre on a side, cooked in a kiln, filled with chocolate AND cream AND custard. He vowed to eat the whole thing in one go. He failed. And in addition felt quite unwell. And in addition a wandering cat inspector took a photo of him lying in the cake’s huge remains and posted it on Twitter, where it became a meme in a way that continually popped up and shamed him throughout his life. After that point, he knew his anxiety was justified, and that the worst would always find a way to happen; and he never tried very hard at anything again.
2. Instead of sending Henry the fifth tennis balls, the French sent cake. All was forgiven. It was great cake and Agincourt never happened. In the alternate future thus spawned, humanity was 99.7% wiped out by a virulent plague in 1870 when a precursor of the ebola virus and the common cold met and fell in love in some stray cream during the annual Anglo-French cake festival. The remaining 0.3% lived brutal and pointless existences in regions of the world that were not able to sustain creameries.
3. She made a point of bringing her perfectionism to everything she did. When it was time to organise a hen night, she knew exactly what was needed; a huge hollow cake with a buff gentleman ready to leap out of it and swing his thong. The cake needed to be convincing. She made it herself. There were no cracks or hinges or anything uncakelike visible. In fact, it was superb. Any remaining imperfections were covered over on the night with a layer of marzipan. When the time came, the excited bride-to be cut into the cake to a gust of stale, exhausted air and revealed the pallid, lifeless leg of the hidden gentleman, who had suffocated.
4. As a marketing stunt, they decided to make a whole planet out of cake. It was the largest-scale replicator use to date and the ad team was very excited. A number of major scientists had been lured on board with the promise of limitless Battenburg. A spot between Mars and the asteroid belt had been identified, and the initial replicator array was scheduled to launch in three days. The next day, the rocket fell over and accidentally set off the replicator array in Baikonur instead. Rather than using chemically-uninteresting asteroids as fuel, the replicators used planet Earth. Within four days the entire planet was made of cake and nearly all sentient life had died.